Never Surrender
by Mythical Otter
Summary: Lovino is a depressed teenager, Antonio is his savior. Spamano songfic for Never Surrender by Skillet. Rated T for attempted Suicide.


**A/N Just a little one shot for one of my favorite pairings. I will update my Berlin story when I can finish the next chapter, screw you writers block. I own nothing.**

Lovino couldn't do it, he was terrified to truly stop and think of who he was, how he acted, and how he treated others. He knew that everyone hated him and it was well deserved, maybe it would be easier just to give up.

He desperately wanted to be accepted like his brother, his talented twin who everyone loved! Wouldn't that be better? To be stupid and happy and just perfect. But that will never happen, all the wishes in the world could never make that happen. To be somebody not him, is that too much to ask? His stupid brother who always tried to help him and pitied him, he was sick of it! He didn't want pity he wanted acceptance for being him!

No more, no more! He couldn't take it! Over and over he thought.

'Just a quick cut, one pill too many, a high jump, then I won't feel anything.' It was time, he went to the bridge just outside of town.

He sat on the edge looking at the roaring river below. He was sick of feeling unwanted, unloved, feeling nothing would be the greatest release.

Living like this was torture he was just a cold, bitter shadow of his twin looked over by some, hated by most. He was done, no one would miss him anyway, that is one thing he truly knew.

He shifted closer to the edge hoping someone would come find him but also praying no one ever does.

'Someone just accept me, I hate this.' He prepared to jump. 'I'll feel better, I won't feel at all!'

He felt himself be pulled off the edge and onto the bridge. He looked up at the person who grabbed him and saw the beautiful eyes and chocolate brown curls of Antonio Fernandez Carriedo a fellow high schooler and the boy he had a crush on.

"Lovino what were you thinking!?" He yelled his eyes bright with, was that fear? It couldn't be… Lovino stayed silent hoping to avoid the subject, arms wrapped around him and he flinched.

"Please stay strong"

Lovino tried to pull out of his arms, he didn't deserve them. Antonio was only pitying him, the weaker twin that no one loved. God damn it! He didn't want to be like this!

Antonio never pitied Lovino but loved him, despite his rough demeanor. Lovino continued to struggled as his mind beat him up.

'Weak! Stupid! Talentless! No one will ever love you.' his mind was the enemy he could never get rid of.

His mind saw everything, felt everything, it saw the things no one else ever did and uses them against him. He felt soothing hands rub his back and tears poured from his eyes.

"Let go of me idiota!" he yelled, voice cracking as he held back sobs.

He wanted Antonio to release him so he can just wave the white flag at his mind.

'I'm done, I surrender.' his body shook as he sobbed into Antonio's shirt. He couldn't hold it back anymore.

He hated himself for being so weak but it was nice to actually cry and not be alone. At this point he didn't even care if Antonio was only pitying him he just wanted to feel accepted for a little while.

Slowly he slowed his breathing and leaned into Antonio.

"Te amo Lovi" his breath caught in his throat, did Antonio just say he loved him?

"Stop lying bastardo, you only pity me, I know it." he whispered sadly

"I swear I am not lying Lovi Te amo truly." Antonio said.

Lovino thought about how things would be if Antonio was telling the truth, he would be able to say that the boy he has had a crush on since his freshman year was dating him. Maybe he would let himself believe the Spaniard but part of him still was unsure.

Lovino hugged Antonio tightly as he took deep breaths. Antonio picked him up and put him in his car that was parked in front of the bridge. Lovino shivered.

"Stay with me per favore" he muttered, Antonio kissed him softly.

"I will never leave you."

It was a month ago that Antonio had saved Lovino from jumping. It was a month ago that his life had changed. Antonio made him feel loved and wanted, every touch and kiss set his heart racing and his face on fire. Antonio made him feel better than anyone else, but still he waited for the dream to shatter and to wake up back in his old life.

It was during their first time that Antonio finally saw his scars, he was terrified, what if Antonio ran away? He didn't though he kissed every scar and told him he was perfect, Lovino felt whole for the first time. He was a completed puzzle and Antonio was the piece that was required to make him better.

Graduation was today and it was two years since the incident at the bridge. Lovino was so nervous but relaxed as he felt familiar arms around his waist and lips on his neck. Lovino turned around and kissed Antonio softly.

"Ti amo." he whispered and was spun around by an excited Spaniard.

"Te amo Lovi!" he yelled loudly.

After the ceremony they met up at Antonio's car which was covered in window chalk from his parents.

"Are you ready to go to college?" Antonio asked jokingly, Lovino grimaced.

"No, not really." he said, Antonio kissed him again and now Lovino was confused.

"What's with all the affection?" his stomach dropped. "Are you leaving me?" he asked quietly. Antonio quickly shook his head.

"No! That's not it really! I just…" he fidgeted with something in his pocket before pulling out a small box, Lovino's eyes widened.

"I truly love you Lovino, you are the light of my life and my little tomato. So I was wondering if you would marry me?" Lovino took a deep breath before tackling him.

"Of course I'll marry you idiota" He kissed Antonio lovingly. "Ti amo."


End file.
